Ice climbing made me the winter pedestrian that I am today. A bold, crisp stride. Properly dressed for conditions. A tad reckless when ambling among the migrating machines of Jackson Hole’s bustling Highway 89.

True, my snow-country pedestrianism is a lunge for lost youth. I miss hanging out on enormous icicles. I miss those hard, sharp metal extensions protruding from my body, robot-like, that enabled me to loiter nonchalantly in sublimely absurd spots.

I miss those impromptu, single-portion-sized avalanches that vanished the entire universe, the air so thick that I couldn’t hear my partner screaming 50 feet away. Or was he laughing?

I liked the way my brain would create a diversion in lieu of panic: “It is but a dream. When I awake I will find that in fact I am an astronaut stranded on Neptune.”

Ah, ice tools. Is there no finer hardware?

That’s a modern ice tool, and a storied* one at that. To compare, here was one of my weapons back-in-the-day:

It worked in the didn’t-know-any-better sense. At least I was able to research my classic tome Molecular Rugosities: 247 Varieties of Steepened Backwoods Water Ice, Identified. I bet this hammer still excels in drywall competitions.

The point is, tools are key. A primary tool for winter pedestrianism: Salomon’s serrated-sole snow clog. It’s a simple, gnarly and, most importantly, a lace-free shoe “to relieve the pressures of everyday life.” Add a standard layered cross-country outfit — polypro, fleece, wind layer, freebie hat, ear buds — and ambulate, baby, ambulate.

There’s one more thing. Inspiration. I found my inspiration. I feel old and decrepit and crippled with guilt over burning gasoline to transport my carcass 1.2 miles to work. To demonstrate my sincerity in adopting the winter walking lifestyle, I totaled my car. (My adrenaline-free, victimless technique: carom off a stout metal barrier at 15 miles per hour. Make sure you’re driving a decade-old high-mileage Audi.

That way it will be worth more as an organ donor than as human transport. Hey, gearheads, any opinions about how this A6 wagon

might fare in the Demo Derby?)

Next: high-centered low-riders and other ice formations.

* I photographed this tool for BWAAM and Alpinist magazine. It belonged the great Himalayan soloist Jean-Christophe Lafaille, who vanished two years ago on Makalu.