My favorite periodical ever published is a little quarterly called Timothy McSweeney’s. There are a number of McSweeney’s books in your local bookstore and you can also subscribe. The pages are filled with unabashed nonsensical humor, brilliantly tasteless jokes, political opinions wrapped in delightful banter, and most of all, just great writing.

One of the best parts of McSweeney’s though is a little section called McSweeney’s Lists. To pay homage to my favorite writers at McSweeney’s and give a little Friday laugh, here are a few of my own lists.

OUTDOORSY THINGS THAT IF GIVEN BRAINS COULD EASILY BAND TOGETHER AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD DUE TO SHEER NUMBERS ALONE

YKK Zippers
Croakies
Stuff sacks
Clif Bars
The word “gnar”
Those bobbles on ski hats

LESS POPULAR NAMES FOR SKI RUNS

Post Traumatic Stress Chute
MCL Blower
Yardsale Couloir
Ice Luge
Monoboards 4 Eva
Dios Mio, Ayudame!

POTENTIAL TITLES OF MY FUTURE AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Overdraft Insurance- A memoir
I Hate Toe Socks and Other Useless Facts About Sarah Hubbard
I’m From Kansas and I’m Not Stupid
I Was Cooler In Kindergarten Than I Am Now
I Learned To Drive On A John Deere- Sarah Hubbard, the Golden Years 1981-present
My Middle Name is Frances by Sarah Frances Hubbard